Help! Around the House

I am almost shivering in anticipation. I checked out a huge stack of books to read over the holidays. All of them are purely for pleasure... none business related. I can't wait!

However, I must finish writing about the books I've read already this fall. One of them is Help! Around the House by Don Aslett.

Aslett bills himself as America's #1 cleaning expert. He is certainly a hard worker and a prolific writer. I've read several of his books and it's amazing how excited he is about cleaning and finding the best, quickest and easiest way to clean.

He almost makes me want to clean. Almost.

Several years ago, I read his books and got on his e-mail list. At some point he sent me a survey to fill out. The topic was how to manage clutter and get kids to help around the house. The incentive was that if he quoted me in the book he was writing, then I'd get a free copy.

Well, I always have opinions on managing clutter and getting kids to help, so I filled it out, sent it in, and promptly forgot about it.

Some time later, I got my own signed copy of Help! Around the House in the mail. How fun! My name is mentioned in the credits, but do NOT ask me to find my quote. I paged through it then and couldn't figure it out. And now, many years later, I've finally read the book and still can't figure it out.

No matter what my quote was, the book itself is good. Aslett is a very engaging, easy-to-read author with a ton of practical hints, tips and ideas. The thing I like about this book is the many, many quotes from real moms with ideas they use. I also like that he doesn't hold up one system as the system to follow, but instead encourages us to find what works for your family.

I can't help but encourage families with children to choose non-toxic cleaners for your home. There are oh-so-many reasons to do so, which I won't go into right now. It's very important for the health and safety of your children. If you're concerned about costly or ineffective non-toxic cleaners, let me recommend Shaklee's cleaners. They work, are cost-effective and are safe. I grew up using them, and so are my children.

If you're a mom, or a dad, who would like to have a cleaner house, would like to have your children's help in getting the house clean, I'd recommend reading this book. You'll enjoy it, get some good ideas and even laugh out loud. I did!

Protect Your Child's Teeth

Recently the children and I went to the dentist’s office for our six-month teeth cleaning. (I didn’t take a picture of them there – but most of them are showing their ‘pearly whites’ in this picture.)

I have to say, I can’t remember being so excited to visit the dentist when I was a kid. My children looked forward to our appointments all week!

I sat in the reception room, waiting my turn while my children ‘visited’ each other as they had their teeth cleaned. (Did I mention how much we enjoy our dentist?) While I waited, I noticed a bulletin board with information about xylitol.

I probably wouldn’t have noticed it, except that I’ve heard a lot about xylitol recently and was interested that my dentist was promoting it.

Something I found quite interesting is that xylitol was first extensively in Finland during World War II. They were facing serious sugar shortages, so they took wood sugar from their birch & beech trees and converted it to xylitol (which literally means “wood sugar”).

After the war, Finnish dentists realized the children using xylitol during the war had exceptionally strong, healthy teeth. So, they started researching xylitol, and using it especially in their chewing gum.

Since then, researchers have discovered that xylitol ‘starves’ the damaging bacteria in your mouth which causes cavities… leading to healthier teeth. But that’s not its only benefit.

Xylitol is also a great low-calorie sugar substitute for diabetics because it doesn’t mess with glucose levels.

And researchers are looking into the possible benefits of xylitol in preventing osteoporosis and ear infections.

Of course, Shaklee scientists are keeping current with all this research, and Shaklee’s chewable children’s vitamins, Ocean Wonders, have had xylitol as a natural sweetener for years.

Incredivites, Shaklee’s newest children’s chewable, contains even more xylitol than Ocean Wonders, plus added Vitamin D and lactoferrin, both of which help support your child’s immune system.

And with winter officially arriving next month, Incredivites or Ocean Wonders are a smart investment in your child’s health.

Protecting the Gift

Last summer, my sister was reading Gavin de Becker's book The Gift of Fear when we were on vacation. When she finished, I picked it up and read it. I found it helpful, and mentally put his next book Protecting the Gift on my 'to-read' list.

I finally remembered to pick it up from the library and read it. I found it very insightful, and helpful in thinking clearly about my children's safety. De Becker makes this point about making sure your children are safe in the first chapter: "[Y]ou can't be sure. There are, however, things you can be certain about. You can be certain every important decision is made with the best information. You can be certain you've educated yourself, certain you've made the best choice possible with the time and resources available. Above all, you can be certain you will listen to yourself, certain you'll give your hesitations a moment's consideration rather than later regret that you didn't." (pg 9)

De Becker walks his readers through strategies parents tend to use, like worry or overthinking, and encourages them to develop their intuition and act on it. Then he discusses circumstances in which children can be vulnerable.

I particularly appreciate his discussion of talking to strangers - instead of emphasizing "stranger danger," he recommends teaching your child to evaluate people with whom they come in contact. "Children raised to assume all strangers might be dangerous do not develop their own inherent skills of evaluating behavior. ... Fear of people is really the fear that we can't predict their behavior." (pg 83).

De Becker argues that we CAN predict violent behavior, and teaches us how in this book, and in The Gift of Fear.

Valuable points in Protecting the Gift include how to evaluate and interview potential babysitters, nannies, daycare centers, and schools. He also gives parents a letter template to send to the daycare center and/or school outlining expectations on how the parent and the administrators will work together to keep children safe.

De Becker also covers teaching teenage girls - and boys - how to protect themselves. He also encourages parents to step in, be unpopular, and make the right choices for their teenagers... and tells several stories to illustrate his point.

I appreciate the point he makes toward the end of the book about the importance of father's roles in children's lives - especially teenage boys. "[Nonviolence can be taught] and most effectively by fathers. Unfortunately, fathers are undervalued in America-virtually to the point of being an oppressed minority. That poses a problem for everyone, since the absence of a father in a boy's life is one of the predictors of future violence. ... While I've directed much of this book toward mothers, it is fathers who can most favorably influence a boy's behavior." (pg 239)

It was interesting read this book after reading Dr. Walt Larimore's book Bryson City Secrets. The combination taught me a lot about following my intuition and making hard decisions if I'm hesitant about leaving my children somewhere or with someone.

I said at the end of my post on The Bi-Polar Child that everyone who has contact with a child should read that book. I feel the same way about this book. Especially if you are a worrier, or tend to worry, you need to read this book. Worry is unproductive and can be detrimental to a child's safety. However, developing your evaluation skills and acknowledging your intuition not only can prevent you from being a victim, but your child as well.

Modern Day Lament

Now that our children are getting older, my husband and I face a bit of a dilemma. I know it's not one that lots of families face, but we do.

Because I teach the children at home, and because I tend to be an early bird instead of a night owl, I am usually done about 7pm. So, my kids go to bed. Sometimes I'm done at 6:30 and they go to bed - especially if I know Daddy's working late that night.

So, now that I have a 6th-grader on my hands, it's time to rethink bedtime. Really?! I guess I wouldn't mind hanging out with him in the living room, each of us reading. But I don't want to talk. I really want to just watch TV.

Which brings me to my lament. My husband and I were just discussing how there are no shows we would want to watch as a family. Gone are the days of The Cosby Show, Full House, or Little House on the Prairie. Even The A-Team (although violent, no one ever got killed, and although Face always got the girl, you didn't see much).

What happened to these family shows? We were going through a few of the shows on in the 7:00 hour... and we wouldn't allow our kids to watch any of them. Chuck (our favorite)? Too violent & sexual. NCIS? Again not appropriate. America's Next Top Model? Definitely not something I want my kids watching.

We have the most basic of cable - don't even get TVLand or Nick at Night, which may run reruns of family shows. I guess we'll start haunting our library. Glen's excited about watching Home Improvement with the boys, which I don't think our library owns. He suggested a NetFlix membership.

I suggested reading aloud together.

We'll see what transpires... We've yet to break the news to my oldest that he can stay up later than his siblings. I'm waiting until we're done with our school year. Not sure why - except it makes me feel like I have a little more time to adjust. Plus, I have to finish Season 2 of 24.

The Roman Mysteries

My children are voracious readers. In search of something that would capture my oldest's attention, I discovered The Thieves of Ostia by Caroline Lawrence, the first in her The Roman Mysteries series at our local library.

I made sure I read it before Nathaniel, because I was concerned about the character treatments, plot, and any philosophies espoused. What I found delighted both me and Nathaniel.

The Roman Mysteries are based around the lives of four children in the Roman era - it starts in the reign of Emporer Vespasian. Ostia is the port city of Rome, where Flavia Gemina, a Roman sea captain's daughter, lives. Through the course of this book, you meet the other main characters: Jonathan, a Jewish Christian, Nubia, an African slave, and Lupus, a mysterious boy who cannot talk because his tongue's been cut out (quite a mystery that is solved in one of the later books).

I honestly was a bit nervous about how Lawrence would treat the subject of religion in her book, but she handles it with honesty and tact. I especially enjoy the respect she gives to Christianity - a rare thing these days.

I was delighted when I read this passage toward the end of the book. Lupus attempted to steal from Flavia, which made her obviously angry, so she didn't invite him to her birthday party. Mordecai, Jonathan's father, is speaking.

"Can you find it in your hearts to forgive [Lupus]? I admit he did something that was wrong. He was tempted to steal and he gave into that temptation. But haven't you ever given in to temptation? Haven't you ever done anything wrong?"

None of them spoke. (...They all end up admitting they've done wrong.)

"Well," said Mordecai gently, "our faith teaches that if you say sorry to God for the wrong things you have done, and if you forgive the people who have done wrong things to you, you will be forgiven. Would you like that?"

Nubia and Jonathan nodded immediately. After a moment, Flavia did, too. It sounded suspiciously easy.

"Are you sorry for all the wrong things you've done?" asked Mordecai. They all nodded this time. "Then say sorry to God."

"How?" asked Flavia.

"Jonathan?" said his father.

Jonathan closed his eyes and said, "I'm sorry for all the wrong things I've done, Lord," and then added, "Amen."

Right away, Nubia closed her eyes and imitated Jonathan. "I'm sorry for the wrong things, also. Amen."

"What does 'amen' mean?" Flavia asked cautiously.

"It's like saying 'I really mean it,'" said Mordecai with a smile.

Flavia closed her eyes and tried to imagine which god she was speaking to. Finally she settled on the beardless shepherd with a lamb over his shoulders.

"I'm sorry for all the wrong things I've done," she whispered to him, and then added, "amen." When she opened her eyes a moment later she felt lighter somehow.

"And now," said Mordecai, "will you forgive Lupus?"

They all nodded.

Nathaniel and I are rereading The Roman Mysteries and introducing his nine-year-old sister to them as well. She told me she wasn't sure if she'd like them, but gave them a try. Now, she's devouring them at the pace of about one book a day! It won't take her too long to get through the series - depending on how often we get to the library.

It's a rare thing to find a book that captures the interest of an 11-year-old boy and a nine-year-old girl and their (uh-hem)-year-old mother. These books are keepers for sure!

The Bi-Polar Child

After two friends of mine, from two different circles of friends, mentioned reading this book, I thought I'd better pick it up.

I'll warn you from the start, The Bipolar Child by Demitri Papolos, M.D. and Janice Papolos is not light reading. In fact, I did not even attempt to read the entire book.

The Papolos' delve deep into the subject of Early-Onset Bipolar Disorder - apparently a topic which most medical professionals don't believe exist (the authors explain why). They cover diagnosis, treatments, what may be happening - or not happening - in the child's brain. Overall, this is a very technical book which the average layperson would have problems understanding.

What you can understand, or at least realize, is the tragic circumstances these families find themselves in. The Papolos' have included stories from different families covering what they've experienced, how they've coped - or not coped, and their emotional journey in dealing with the various aspects of having an ill child.

Here's just a taste:

Friends, teachers, and the outside world cannot fathom what the parent is talking about (if the parent talks about it al all). But one mother who managed to catch an entire rage with a tape recorder wrote:

'Many of our friends and even some of the professionals who work with us have not seen Robby in his full glory. They cannot believe that this sweet, charming, affectionate, and outgoing child coudl possibly be violent or bipolar. They just assume we are not firm enough with him, or pay too much attention to him.

So I got it on tape from start to finish - the screaming and yelling that he's going to kill me, kill the cats...

Now anytime a friend says: "But he's so wonderful whenever we see him" I can pull out the tape and say, "Have a listen to this."

I cannot imagine what my two friends have gone through, are going through. Reading this book gave me a slight taste of what life may be like for them. It's given me an insight into their life, into how to pray for them, and if possible, be a support for them.

If you, as a parent, wonder if there's something wrong with you because your child is behaving the way he/she does, please read this book. It may be as simple as a discipline issue. It may be much, much more.

If you are a teacher, pastor, or other professional who works with children, please read this book. One of my friends says since she read this book, she realized her children needed to be evaluated for early-onset bipolar disorder. She also says after she spends time in a classroom she can spot the child who needs further evaluation.