But then I picked up Crazy Love; Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan from the library. It was exactly what I needed to read to get my focus back. As we read this morning in our devotions from Matthew 6:
The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.
My 'eyes' had been bad - coloring my perspective on life with a dullness of 'making it through' rather than 'enjoying the moments.' Wondering 'how' and 'why' and, dare I admit it, 'what's in it for me?' instead of thankfulness, gratitude and wondering at the fact that God loves me - no matter what.
In Crazy Love, Chan focuses on God and on his 'crazy love' for you and for me. He reminds us of the majesty, wonder-ness and awesome-ness of God Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth. And of how much He, the Holy God, loves you and me.
Then Chan turns his attention to our response - or lack-thereof - in the church today. He advocates a passionate response to God, one that makes most church-goers (including myself) a bit uneasy. He profiles the lukewarm Christian today and encourages Christians today to be obsessed with Jesus and following Him.
It may sound like reading this book could make you feel guilty for what you are, or are not, doing in your life. And to some extent, that's true. But Chan ends his book with this:
My hope and prayer is that you finish this book with hope, believing that part of your responsibility in the body of Christ is to help set the pace for the church by listening and obeying and living Christ. ... [Y]ou simply need to live out in your daily life the love and obedience that God has asked of you.
A breath of fresh air - and a great reminder to readjust my focus so my eyes see this life properly.